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I feel like I should warn you.
There is a fierce feminine fire building. It is Kali Ma-like, creator and destroyer. Burner of all that must go so that life can give birth to life. She is the wolf-woman coming, hard and strong and asking you for more than you want to give, but only because she loves you.
She knows that your greatest self can only rise from the ashes of the lesser you.
Kali means dark mother or black one. She is most often depicted in her destructive form -- a blood-thirsty goddess, killer of Shiva and eater of babies. The demon goddess, the goddess of death. But Kali is more than that. She is not just ruler of death, but of life, too.
The early Tantric texts identify Kali as Mother, the primary and primordial creator of the Universe. All things rise from her and disappear again into her; endless cycles of birth and death, creation and destruction. Kali is Om, she is Shakti, she is existence.
Understanding destruction as an exquisite and essential element of life, this is not the tender feminine, this is tough love to the core. This is purification by fire.
In The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths, Barbara Walker tells us that,
"Tantric worshippers of Kali thought it essential to face her Curse, the terror of death, as willingly as they accepted Blessings from her beautiful, nurturing, maternal aspect. For them, wisdom meant learning that no coin has only one side: as death can't exist without life, so also life can't exist without death".
And so you must do the same. Have the courage and endurance to face what must die in you, and the rewards will be unparalleled.
I met this energy fullest in Peru last year; in Ayahuasca, the Mother Vine. Never have I experienced such annihilation, or such great love. She taught me many things, among which was the importance of the labor pain and the sacrifice we make for our children, whether they be of blood and bone or another structure.
It's no coincidence so many people are having babies right now. We (especially women) are being asked to understand this role, both submission to the larger forces -- to the archetype of this fierce goddess, and our power as an active participant in the destruction and rebirthing that happens in our individual lives.
There is change coming, sacrifice that needs to be made. This is not new, it's been happening all year, but it's not done. And it hasn't demanded this much from you yet, so be ready.
Maybe you'll want to think about where your loyalty lies, so that you don't get caught off guard when it hits. Is it with your ego's will or with your soul, your destiny? What are you willing to give for that?
Those who've already done a lot of work this year may find she's not too rough, but if you have been avoiding your work, or avoiding it in specific areas, get ready to be called out.
Prepare. Nurture yourself. Do some internal house-cleaning. Know what, and who, supports you and have them close.
Most of all: breathe, trust. It's all for your highest good.
"If you prefer smoke over fire then get up now and leave. For I do not intend to perfume your mind's clothing with more sooty knowledge. No, I have something else in mind. Today I hold a flame in my left hand and a sword in my right. There will be no damage control today. For God is in a mood to plunder your riches and fling you nakedly into such breathtaking poverty that all that will be left of you will be a tendency to shine. So don't just sit around this flame choking on your mind. For this is no campfire song to mindlessly mantra yourself to sleep with. Jump now into the space between thoughts and exit this dream before I burn the damn place down." - Adyashanti