SEPTEMBER INSIGHTS WITH ATHENA SHAKTI
Hold please. The Universe is grateful for your call and appreciates your patience. We look forward to serving you in the order in which your call was received.
*bad music, possibly musak versions of Adi Shakti*
Thank you for holding. The Universe is currently experiencing unprecedented volumes of communication; we assure you that your call will be answered shortly. You are currently 80 billionth in line. And your estimated wait time is completely unknown because we are the Universe and time means nothing.
*tinny sounds that could be music, could be somebody pulling the tail of the Milky Way*
Thank you for holding. We are working as quickly as Mercury Retrograde allows and assure you….
“Hello? Mr. Human?”
“Oh! Hi! And its Ms. Human.”
“Yes, I hear that. It is irrelevant to us. How can we serve you today?”
“Well, I was waiting to hear when this whole ball is going to get rolling. I mean, I’ve been doing the work, clearing out my closet and it seemed that things should be happening by now. I feel very ready for the next evolution of my purpose and it just seems to be taking a bit longer than usual. Lots of fits and starts, if you know what I mean. I was wondering if you could check on my connection?”
“Ah, yes, we are getting a lot of that these days. The evolutionary upgrade is experiencing some software bugs. Hang on a second, let me pull up your account.”
“Great, I totally appreciate it.”
“No problem. Oh, yes, I see the issue. You are still in the eclipse phase down there on manifest earth. What a mess. Let me see what I can do for you….”
*sounds of rapid clicking…a small hum and a brisk sigh*
“Ok, Ms. Human, this is what I am going to ask you to do. Please stand up and walk to the door.”
“Grab your yoga mat and get to a class as soon as possible; You are going to need to breathe very concisely and maintain a meditative state of mind. Do you understand?”
“Well, yes, I have my mat. I’m heading to the car.”
“Excellent. Because as soon as I press this button, things are going to start to happen very fast. I will stay on the line until you arrive. Do you have an estimated time for me?”
“Well, it is just down the street, so I would say that in the next few minutes I should get there.”
“Good. Since you are almost in position, I am going to go ahead and initiate your new service. Are you ready?”
“I suppose so. Jeez, anything will be better than this slow roll to nowhere.”
“I want you to remember that you said that, okay? Here we go. Initiating…..now.”
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON I CAN’T POSSIBLY DO ALL OF THESE THINGS AT ONCE BUT THEY HAVE TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW YESTERDAY RIGHT NOW OR I AM MISSING MY OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE THE WORLD AND EXPRESS MY PURPOSE IN THE FEW SHORT YEARS I HAVE LEFT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET OH MY GOD HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GET IT ALL DONE BUT IT MUST BE DONE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT IS THE ONE THING THAT WILL FULFILL ME AND LET ME BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
So. September is kind of like that. Buckle up, Sally. And don’t forget to breathe.
- Athena Shakti
Find more of Athena on her website.